Asset Manager Application

DDDS Recruitment Portal • “Compliance is Comfort.”

Position: Asset Manager (Trainee)

Status: Always Hiring

Work Model: Remote • Disposable Staff

Hazard Pay: classified

Are you tired of simply serving in these doomed days?

Are you exhausted from surviving one crisis at a time? Ready to stop thinking and start complying? Come work for us and make just enough of a living to live happily blinded by the horrors that surround you.

Earn just enough to stay alive and spend it—yes, you guessed it—on our company’s online store. Comfort is one-click away. Don’t look behind the warehouse doors. There’s nothing there but efficiency.

NOTICE: This page is a work of fiction for a game devlog. Any resemblance to real corporations, policies, or meat products is purely coincidental.

Application

Complete the form below to receive an instant eligibility assessment.

Applicant Name

Preferred Pronouns

Current Survival Strategy Ignore the news Cope through consumerism Work until it feels normal Panic responsibly (indoors)

Comfort Threshold High (I love routines) Medium (I adapt quickly) Low (I notice the screaming)

Why do you want this job?

Agreement (required) I agree to remain comfortably employed, politely compliant, and emotionally optimized. I understand the company is not responsible for existential dread, nightmares, or sudden awareness.

Tip: Type doom anywhere on the site.

DDDS Recruitment Portal • Version: 0.6.12 • Uptime: [REDACTED]

Reminder: “Deliveries build stability. Stability builds compliance. Compliance builds profit.”